Forever?
by inumarulova1
Summary: Toboe wants pups so bad, but Tsume wont let him because he's too young, so he devises a plan, one that could kill him.....
1. The fight

1Hey guys, im really sorry for not updating Brother Dearest, but I have writers block with that one, sorry, but I will be trying as hard as I can. Anyway, hope that you like this new story, which, will hopefully clear my mind enough to continue Brother Dearest. Toodles.

Forever?

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'Why, why doesn't he want me to bear his pups, a year doesn't matter? Maybe im not good enough, or maybe he really doesn't love me,' thought a distraught Toboe. He wanted pups so bad, but Tsume flat-out refused him, that was yesterday. He looked over his shoulder to his right, sadly looking over at the happy couple, where Hige was licking his mate, Blue's pregnant stomach. He softly nuzzled his mates muzzle, trying to wake him up, wanting him to reassure him, but when it didn't work right away, he began to lick his mates muzzle submissively until Tsume was awake. He immediately buried his head into his mates shoulder and started to sniffle. " What's wrong Toboe, did someone hurt you, are you alright?" I whimpered in response and looked over at the couple again, eyes filling with tears.

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'Damn it, I wish he would stop with this, I get it, really I do, he wants to bear a litter of pups, but he's a year too young, and his body wont be ready for it until then, why can't he just understand that,' Tsume was telling himself. "P-please T-tsume,"my pup whimpered to me, crying now, begging me for what he knew I wouldn't, couldn't give him. ' Why, why won't he just get it, my god, this is making me so mad, he's crying, which he knows that I hate, and he's being over-dramatic, which I hate,' I flattened my ears to my head, not wanting to hear him cry any louder than need be. I grit my teeth, 'he's gunna make himself sick,' "STOP IT," I roared. My pup's eyes were wide, and he crawled out of my embrace. I couldn't stop myself, I was so mad, so annoyed, " MY GOD, THIS IS WHY NOBODY WILL HAVE PUPS WITH YOU, YOUR SO GOD DAMNED STUPID, " As soon as the words left my lips I regretted them.

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Toboe's eyes widened, and he felt numb, ' See, even Tsume said it, nobody loves me, so why would anyone want to have pups with me,' he flicked his ears back and ignored Tsume's pleas of, " I love you, I didn't mean it,"and, " your not stupid, your smart." He got up and transformed into his human illusion first walking, and then running toward a stream about an eighth of a mile away, hopping on a bending tree, and bringing his knees up to his chest. He hurt so bad, the one he loved with all his heart thought he was stupid. 'It hurts...so bad...the pain...make it...stop...,'and with those final thoughts, he started to think of a plan, a plan to make this pain go away.

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I feel so bad for what I said to Toboe, he didn't deserve it, all he wanted was to have a litter like Blue and Hige are having. ' I want to run there to hug and kiss him and tell him that he's smart and beautiful and that I love him, but that wouldn't be the right thing to do right now, he needs time to simmer, he'll be ok, right?' I was trying to reassure myself that everything would be ok, and that Toboe wouldn't do anything too bad, that he knew that I loved him with all my heart and would do anything for him. 'Except for give him the one thing he's ever asked of you,'my mind betrayed me, but even so, I knew it wasn't fair to him.

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Toboe thought over his plan one more time, and after making one minor adjustment, looked out toward where the man he loved would be and whispered, "I love you Tsume," and with that, he jumped.

Ooh, cliffy, im so bad aren't I? Well, anyway, review please, I WILL CONTINUE. Love you guys.


	2. The Getaway

Hey guys, I told you that I would update in my other story, on this story. If that makes any sense….haha, anyway, back to the story guys!

Forever

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I whimpered, something was wrong, very wrong, I had to apologize to Toboe before he ends up hating me. ' God, why do I always have to be such a jerk, I could have given in, just this once, he wants them so bad, why did I have to say the things I said, I'm such a bad mate…' I sighed and ran to the river where I had last scented my pup, before his scent had just disappeared, 'maybe he went for a little swim to clear his head or something...

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Toboe sighed, letting the river carry him and his scent farther and farther away from their camping ground and litter site, paddling forward with the strong current. 'God, I just need to…leave for awhile, I might come back some day, but not now, it's just too much. I need time to heal my broken heart and mind, least I go insane from wanting. Which I don't plan on doing soon, so, leaving is the best option I can think of, for now.'

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I whined, trying to sniff my pup out, but to no avail, where could he have gone, he wasn't in sight. 'Maybe he just went for a dip a little farther upstream or something, but then he would get stuck there because of the current, did he not think of that, is he stuck? Maybe I should look further to make sure, I really need to find him, the sooner the better, but wait, didn't we pass a waterfall on the way here? Oh my god, TOBOE, please be alright!'

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Toboe gasped, struggling to keep above water, the current was much stronger than he'd anticipated, and it was trying to pull him under, he saw the ending of it all where the beginning of the water fall began. ' Well, at least it won't be that painful I hope, plus he'll be the last thing I see, which can't be that bad. I just wish that we never got in that stupid fight, I wish that he would've agreed. Then I'd be the one expecting a full litter of pups, along with Blue, I just wish that I could have been her.'

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I ran faster and faster, feeling the rising dread grow in me for every second I didn't see him, making me worry to no end. I pushed myself, pushing myself harder, not slowing down when I saw dark brown fur and a struggling wolf in the water, searching for something to help him with. I quickly found an abandoned stick and offered it to him, stretching as far as I could, but still, he refused. I whimpered, pushing the stick out further, he shook his head and looked the other way, offering me one last sad smile before letting himself be swept off the edge of the waterfall.

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Toboe whimpered, coughing up water and blood as he heaved on the sandy bank next to the waterfall. He looked up quickly, making sure that he didn't see his mate, before running off into the woods in search of a temporary home for him to heal in. It was some time before he found a suitable place to make a den in; a clearing deep within the forest was the perfect place. He quickly made a checklist of what he would need to survive for the next few months, and started to collect dry wood branches and leaves to for bedding and shelter.

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I shook my head, ' No, no, this can't be happening, it's alright, he probably is just fine, the fall couldn't have killed him, he's just fine, I just need to find him that's all. It couldn't be that hard, could it, tracking down one's mate, right?' I tried to sniff him out at the base of the waterfall, but the water had erased all of his scent, and with the water all over the place, I couldn't tell which way he'd gone. I whined and took off in a random direction, hoping beyond hope that I'd find some trace of him if I went deep enough.

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Toboe smiled in satisfaction as he finished building a makeshift hut by sunset, he would still have time to hunt for dinner and get a couple extra foxes for a blanket, he wouldn't even need o kill them, just ask them nicely in his wolf form if they would sleep in his hut and keep them warm. And, in return, they would get his protection from the elements and creatures that enjoy eating foxes. He quietly padded along in search of a few foxes to help him out, and smiled when he found a mother and her cubs curled up, shivering, at the base of a large tree.

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I flicked my ears back in dismay, I couldn't find him anywhere, and it was getting dark, ' maybe I should go back to camp, to tell the others and tomorrow morning we could go in search of him together, I'm sure that we'd have a better chance of finding him if we were all together. It's just…could I live without him for a night, not breathing in his scent, holding him and smiling as his heartbeat lulls me to sleep? I don't know, but I'm going to have to for the sake of him, I just hope that he's alright wherever he is,' I thought sadly.

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Toboe smiled softly at the bristling, mate less wolf and spoke to her calmly in wolf, already knowing that she could understand him perfectly in that. " Would you consider sleeping in my makeshift hut for awhile, it gets pretty cold at night after all. You would get protection from all of the elements, and in return for staying there and keeping us all warm, I'd protect you from any predators that would come your way. Does that sound like a good idea to you?" She gave me a speculating look, " Why me, why not somebody else, or do you just like to play with my kind like this?" I shook my head, " No, that's not it at all I assure you, all I want is to be kept warm at night, I won't even be here for that long, a couple months at most, I just need to find myself a little before I go back to my pack. No funny business, I promise, and I'll even hunt for you if you want, I just thought that we could kill 2 birds with one stone so to say," I explained to her. She sighed and regarded me cautiously, "Alright," she replied simply.

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I sighed heavily, jogging at a steady pace back to camp, I missed him so much already, but thank god that we're all going to look for him tomorrow, I'm sure that we'll find him. 'I wonder what the others are going to say about our fight and everything, I hope that their not all too upset, after all, everyone has someone to tell them to be gentle on me, no to get too mad..Except me, not me, I'd driven that person away by denying him the one thing he ever really asked of me.'

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Toboe helped the mother fox carry all 8 of her kits as he showed her the way to his recently made hut. He brought the 5 kits that were on his back and sat down, letting them slide right off of him and onto the floor. They whimpered and started to cry for their mother as she was making her way into the hut. Plopping down and putting the kits in a bundle, she curled up and let them feed, smiling down at them and making sure that everyone got a turn to eat. "Are you hungry, "I asked politely?" She looked up at me and nodded, just as her stomach started growling, "Is boar alright for you," I inquired, she nodded again, "Alright."

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I got back to camp and sighed heavily, calling everybody over to me as I explained our fight and Toboe's mysterious disappearance. We all agreed that in the morning we would go in search of Toboe and all pray that he would be alright. I nodded and curled up by the fire, trying to calm my racing thoughts about my pup and looking towards the sky, hoping that he was too. Finally, after a while of uneventful thoughts about him, I fell into an uneasy sleep.

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Toboe smiled and quickly stood up, taking a wandering glance at the fox and darting out the door in search of a hefty boar to have for dinner. He sniffed the air cautiously, trying to find the quietest way to hunt without alerting the boar of his presence too quickly. He tensed, and waited for the boar to wander into sight. He took a deep breath and sprung upon the animal, biting down deep into its jugular and killing it quickly, making sure that it didn't suffer. He pulled it up onto his back and effortlessly carried it all the way back to his little campsite, bringing it in the shack and putting it down right in the middle of the floor, so the mother had a clear view of his kill. He smiled proudly and took a couple bites of the fresh meat, tearing off a few chunks and giving it to the fox as she was clearly busy with her kits, letting them frolic as they wished. Making sure that they listened to their mother as they ate and cleaned the cubs up, readying them for bed.

I helped her keep them in line as she excused herself to go to the waterfall and clean herself off, promising that she wouldn't take too long because she would miss her kits too much. He watched her bound away and kept them all close to him so that they would be able to feel his warmth. Sadly, this gave him time to think about how long his was going to stay here, and what he was going to say when he got back. 'They wouldn't just welcome me back with open arms after all of that would they? I'm sure that Tsume probably told them all everything by now, their probably going to come looking for me, but how am I going to explain this? Or better yet, keep this hidden, the fox kits could help, I could make it look like I had abandoned the shack and moved on, leaving the foxes to hold refuge here, or what else? I couldn't very well fake my own death, which would leave way too many unanswered questions.'

I glanced down wistfully at the little cubs curled around me, 'why can't I go back to that, where everything was so easy and you could just have mommy protect you from everything, things were so much better back then when everyone made the important decisions for you, and you didn't have a care in the world except for when lunch or dinner was.' He gave a sigh, 'these kids are going to grow up one day, just like I did, make their own choices, their own mistakes, and the only thing that parents can do when their young, is point them in the right direction. They have no idea how lucky they are to have their mom alive and here with them, I don't even remember my mom except that she used to brush my hair, and that the only thing I have left of her are these gold and silver bracelets. Those are the only things I have left to remember her, but they have their mom, right here, all the time.'

I wish mom was here to help me now…

Tbc

Hey, I updated, so sorry for the wait, this chapter is over 2,050 words, aren't you proud of me? Any way's, I'm gunna try and post another chapter sometime this week, so keep checking on the site or on your email for updates about that kay?

REVIEW ALL MY BEAUTIFUL REVIEWERS!!


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